Before I came to Korea, I could only guess what its cultural quirks would be. Would any of my knowledge I obtained in Japan and China help me, or would Korea continue to mess with me by being “Asian” and yet not the Asian I’ve come to know. Thankfully, orientation was able to prepare me for the more common cultural dos and don’ts. So without further ado, I give you Korea Culture 101, part 1.
First off, Koreans do bow. You have no idea how relieved I was to hear that. After being obsessed with Japan since childhood, I have developed a compulsion to always do a little head bob of a bow to everything. Compliment me, head bob. Borrow a pencil, head bob. Get directions from a teacher, head bob. And I honestly can’t stop myself unless I concentrate on it. This convinced all the Chinese I met (who don’t bow much anymore) that I was Japanese in descent, and when I corrected them with American they said, “You don’t have to claim you’re American to be cool. German Japanese is something to be proud of too.” When I went to Japan this head bob tick just got worse cause hardly a day goes by when you don’t bow at least 20 times a day. And so, when I was told Koreans bow as well, it made me relieved that I wouldn’t have to constantly smack myself every time I bowed, or learn how to explain why I bow while I comment about the weather.
Something that does throw me off however is how Koreans must do everything with two hands. If you are giving or receiving anything, from a gift at your birthday party to money at the convenience store, give and receive with two hands ALWAYS. You’ll be considered rude and uncivilized if you don’t (though being a foreigner will save you). I constantly have to tell myself to do this, mainly when I’m buying things. I have an affinity of having my wallet out when I’m paying for things, and it’s not very easy to take the change with two hands when a fat wallet occupies your left hand. You also have to shake hands two-handed, or at least, never shake with your free hand chilling by your side. I’ve been shown two ways of doing this, either by taking your free hand and holding the wrist of your shaking hand, or wrapping your free hand around your waist. Very different, but I’m sure after many shakes I’m going to have to break this habit when I come home.
Another custom that my Japanese side throws a fit over is eating. In Japan, eating is considered a ritual where all you should think about is eating. In Korea, eating is a time to spend with your friends and family while talking about your day. This means talking with your mouth full, something that would get you ninja smacked if you tried it in Japan. On top of this, Korea is a very communal place where relationships with others are very important. So much so, that in Korea when eating food you actually share your food. All of it. So, let’s say you go to Dunkin Donuts with your friend and buy a chocolate brownie to go with your coffee. You better not think about eating that whole brownie by yourself. The moment you agreed to eat with your Korean friend, you opened yourself to sharing everything with them, mainly food, and you’ll probably get the evil eye if you scarf that chocolate deliciousness down without even saving a crumb for them. I’ve also been told that it’s so common for Koreans to eat with each other that many can’t recall a time when they ate alone. When I told my Korean friend how I often eat food alone in my apartment she flipped out, vowing to find me Korean friends to eat with. To her, my solo eating was one of the most depressing things she had ever heard. To further illustrate this, another friend of mine went to a restaurant by herself to check the food out. She ate alone, enjoying the food, but the waiter kept watching her and the door, as if concerned. Finally they approached her, asking when her friend was coming because obviously she couldn’t be eating alone. You can imagine their surprise.
Another custom that my Japanese side throws a fit over is eating. In Japan, eating is considered a ritual where all you should think about is eating. In Korea, eating is a time to spend with your friends and family while talking about your day. This means talking with your mouth full, something that would get you ninja smacked if you tried it in Japan. On top of this, Korea is a very communal place where relationships with others are very important. So much so, that in Korea when eating food you actually share your food. All of it. So, let’s say you go to Dunkin Donuts with your friend and buy a chocolate brownie to go with your coffee. You better not think about eating that whole brownie by yourself. The moment you agreed to eat with your Korean friend, you opened yourself to sharing everything with them, mainly food, and you’ll probably get the evil eye if you scarf that chocolate deliciousness down without even saving a crumb for them. I’ve also been told that it’s so common for Koreans to eat with each other that many can’t recall a time when they ate alone. When I told my Korean friend how I often eat food alone in my apartment she flipped out, vowing to find me Korean friends to eat with. To her, my solo eating was one of the most depressing things she had ever heard. To further illustrate this, another friend of mine went to a restaurant by herself to check the food out. She ate alone, enjoying the food, but the waiter kept watching her and the door, as if concerned. Finally they approached her, asking when her friend was coming because obviously she couldn’t be eating alone. You can imagine their surprise.
And these are only a few of several cultural differences. In my next cultural entry, I will cover one quirk that needs its own entire post, Koreans and dating, AKA Couple Culture (or even better described as, Twin Culture).
That pic DOES look like spicy food ><
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